Nathan Pater
Letter of Evaluation
Dr. Reichert:
Well, we both knew that this day would
finally come. For the past four months, I have continually been dragged,
often unwillingly, to my computer not to play games, but to actually write.
My procrastinating ways often caught up to me the night before a draft
was due. I would work into the wee hours of the morning sleepily adding
length and structure to my creations. My task this last half of the semester
was a daunting one. I was told to take what was good from the previous
portfolio, add to it, and improve on my weaknesses. I hope that overall
my mission will be declared a success.
Looking back over my last portfolios
outside journals that I often wrote "on the fly," I discovered why they
appealed to my audience. Journals like "The Ride" contained aspects of
real life drama as the reader could almost feel the safety harnesses engage
upon boarding the "Montu." This excitement seemed to be missing from many
of my other works, and as a result they seemed to slowly drag along forcing
the reader to continually awake from their daydreams. To keep this tradition
alive, I wrote "Man on the Mountain." Through good use on detailed descriptions
about the surroundings, I tried to allow the reader to visit and experience
winter in Colorado. Even though most of the account is fictional, I tried
to make the events as believable as possible. Another thing that I liked
about some of my first portfolio journals was the emphasis on discovering
why and how I had certain beliefs engrained inside of me. One journal that
I wrote after seeing The Green Mile, talked about how my mind slowly
changed about the topic of capital punishment. It always amazes me to see
just how powerful movies can be to influence public opinion.
My first long paper that I wrote for
this class covered my turbulent transition from a sheltered middle school
into high school. Though a nice and humorous story, it seems to lack depth
and does little to draw the reader into the story line. I must confess
that there was an obvious lack of details that led my readers asking questions
that should have been answered in the text. My second paper that centered
on the topic of greed did little to improve upon the lack of details. As
you mentioned, there were some interesting questions raised, but they were
not drawn out to an appropriate length to find the answers. I even recommended,
without any explanation, that most people should leave today and take permanent
vacations.
My final paper, Recollections of Death,
is a radically different look at how we view death. Until someone honestly
comes back from the dead, no one really can prove what the afterlife is
like. The main character, in my paper, posthumously shares some advice
and raises some topics that we may not wish to think about. I also tried
to include many more supporting examples to keep the audience involved
in the paper. I touched upon the topics of family and religion to try and
bring out an emotional response from my readers. If I had more time I would
like to make a second revision to the paper showing how the character moved
throughout the real world, and what his responsibilities really were. I
would also have liked to explore what the final fate of the character really
was; where does it all end? This lack of wholeness seems to be a reoccurring
problem that surfaces in most of my longer essays. Perhaps a better outline
and better organization of thoughts would really improve the flow of the
papers.
In one of my journals, Feelings of
Despair, I talk about what I felt after completing my research paper. Once
again my outside of class journals come to rescue. Taking a 'slice of life'
perspective, the journals all seem to show a part of me -that I try to
hide in my longer more formal works. They tend to be more honest, showing
what I really feel. Obviously, this perspective would not have really worked
well in my research paper, but I should have gone for the more open feeling
of my journals. My research paper did start out well by making the reader
want to learn about what really happened in the Church's long history.
However, around page three the paper took the plunge and became only a
boring list of facts. I did rework the paper slightly giving more credit
to my sources and inserting the missing title, but overall the paper remains
a 'research paper'.
If only the entire portfolio was made
up of journal entries; then I would ask for an 'A'. Once again my perfect
attendance to class, and participation in all the in-class assignments
and group discussions would warrant a little extra credit, but overall
I will again request a 'B'. As I have mentioned I have gone forward
and taken some risks with my final paper, but the numerous holes I have
left in it could sink the Titanic. My journal entries, like the
story of the Man on the Mountain, do add welcomed strength to the
portfolio, but I do not see the needed growth to receive an 'A'. The increased
effort that I put into my journals is mysteriously absent from my research
paper and from the mediocre in-class entries. I guess that I just liked
the freedom of deciding on a short topic that interested me.
With this being one of the last true
writing classes that I will ever take, I hope that I don't allow my talents
to gather rust. if I had to name a goal, I would choose to write at least
one short paper per week. Imitating the style of my journals, I would try
to become more innovative and open to different ways of communicating through
poetry and plays. I simply cannot give-up on my abilities and allow my
hard-earned skills to disappear with time.